Totally Normal
by Megaloo
Summary: Natsu/Gray! Rivalry sometimes leads to something unexpected, but that's totally normal, right?


Because there is not enough Natsu/Gray in the world! Initially written for fun, then used at bnfbrawl on LJ as a crack!plot (character: grayfullbuster), then posted on my LJ. Nor warnings, just immensely silly.

* * *

Brawls, as anyone would tell you, were very common in the Fairy Tail guild hall. It was a simple fact of life that with so many…interesting sorts of people, that most of them were not always going to get along. And there were several aspects to such a brawl that were pretty much universal: Something would get burned, something would become frozen. Chairs and tables would be broken and utilized as clubs. Someone would inevitably be hanging from the rafters, Gray would at some point manage to lose all of his clothing, often including his boxers (but only if someone stole them), and the Master would eventually show up and put an end to things before the entire building was forced to come crashing down around everyone's ears.

Sometimes, though, things could get a little bit strange.

It was the middle of the night and Gray had been minding his own business, checking out the board in peace and quiet when a certain pink haired lunatic has wandered into the bar area and picked a fight.

"You're in my way! I need to find a job."

"I was here first, you idiot!"

Natsu was attempting to shoulder Gray out of the way. Gray was attempting to hold his ground. Neither were succeeding. And neither of them were admitting that.

"STUPID, PUSHY, PINK-HAIRED MORON!"

"NAKED PERVERT!"

"I'M NOT…SHIT!"

In that brief moment when Gray realized that his clothing was, as usual, missing, they both crashed to the floor in a rather undignified heap.

"YOU MADE ME FALL OVER!"

"YOU WERE PUSHING ME!"

"GET OFF ME ALREADY, YOU ASSHOLE!"

Gray thought for a brief moment that he had the upper hand. He had managed to reverse their positions so that he now had Natsu pinned to the floor, which was, of course, the complete opposite of how they had fallen, so it was hardly his fault that he had started with a disadvantage.

Of course all good things must come to an end, and they came to a quick end when there was a sudden breeze around areas that should never have a breeze.

A brief halt, a brief look, and that brief moment of triumph was over with the loss of a pair of briefs. Or, well. Boxers. As the case may be.

And suddenly Gray found himself naked and pinned on his back beneath a mass of pink haired, grinning idiot. Who was actually pretty warm. And very close to his face. And…

Gray blinked once. Twice. And realized that this was a ifantastically bad situation/i.

"GET OFF ME RIGHT NOW OR I'M GOING TO FREEZE YOUR BALLS TO THE FLOOR!!"

A sudden burst of adrenaline sent Natsu flying and Gray bolting for the door. He got halfway there before he was hit a very atypical realization. He had no clothing on.

It was a simple thing to retrieve his boxers, at least. There was no telling where the rest of his outfit had vanished to. But at least he wouldn't be entirely on display for the night people crawling the streets if he was wearing boxers.

"AND STOP STEALING MY UNDERWEAR, YOU PERVERT."

He was never speaking of this again.

--

A week later found him in the same position. Or at least, the same initial position.

"I'm looking at the board. Wait your turn."

Natsu glared but didn't try to push him out of the way. He just looked over his typically bare shoulder instead. Last time had been iweird/i and he didn't really like flying across the room. He'd been nauseous for a good five minutes after that one. Gray's kicks totally counted as transportation.

He saw the job he wanted and as soon as Gray got _out of his way_, he was going to grab it.

Except Gray grabbed it first.

"HEY YOU BASTARD, THAT ONE WAS MINE!!"

"I WAS HERE FIRST!"

"YEAH WELL, THAT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

Gray stared at him for a moment. "DON'T BE SO SLOW IF YOU WANT FIRST PICK!"

Natsu prepared to attack. Gray jumped on the bar out of harm's way. Natsu followed him and overbalanced. They found themselves back on the floor, Gray once again pinned beneath his idiot comrade. Only this time Natsu's nose was crushed into his and his mouth was smushed against his cheek.

It was like he was giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Which was even WORSE.

"OH MY GOD JUST TAKE IT, I'M OUT OF HERE!"

This was going to be spoken of even less than the previous time.

Natsu just rubbed his mouth and shrugged. Gray was pretty weird.

--

Another week, another late-night job hunt. Gray once again beat Natsu to the board and previous experience had actually sunk into his thick head for once. He waited quietly, scanned the board while Gray deliberated and finally tapped him on the shoulder.

"I want that one," he stated, pointing to one of the flyers.

Gray leapt about three feet in the air. "WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!"

"The door?"

"DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME LIKE THAT!"

"WELL. PAY MORE ATTENTION!"

"I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO!"

"I'LL JUST KNOCK YOU OVER NEXT TIME THEN!"

"CAN'T YOU JUST WAIT UNTIL I'M iFINISHED?"/font

"YOU TAKE TOO LONG!"

"YOU'RE TOO IMPATIENT!"

"YOU'RE ANNOYING!"

"YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"

"NAKED PERVERT!"

"I'M NOT…"

But of course, he was. And something was rearing its head. Something that shouldn't be. And was about to be obvious.

Gray blushed from the roots of his hair all the way down to his toes, which, of course, was also obvious due to the lack of clothing.

And he bolted, swearing to himself that someday, _someday_ he would actually pick up a job.

--

The sun was shining and Gray was sulking in a field far from the Guild Hall. He didn't want to deal with Natsu anymore. It was embarrassing and frustrating and he was invading every aspect of one very frustrated Ice Mage's life.

Even now. Because there he was, walking towards the very tree Gray had chosen to sulk under.

"That's my tree."

"I don't see your name on it."

"Well. It's mine. I always sit there!"

"Whatever."

Natsu paused and gave him a funny look. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Nothing! Just leave me alone." Gray closed his eyes, pretending to sleep.

"You're still in my spot though!"

"Find a different one!"

"But I like this one!"

"Oh WHATEVER!" Gray stood and started marching back to the Guild. He didn't feel like dealing with this anymore, and who KNEW what would happen if they started fighting again. It never ended well.

Natsu blinked and watched him go. Gray was getting weirder every day and there was definitely something WRONG with the weird pervert now.

But that was his problem.

--

It was another week before Gray risked his evening job hunt, praying to whatever deities he could think of that Natsu would just leave him _alone_ for once. But of course, fate is a cruel bitch and Natsu was already there when he walked in the door.

"You're in the way."

"I was here first for once! Shut up!"

"You're _in the way_."

"Not my problem."

Gray glared. He tapped his foot. He waited. And waited. And Natsu still hadn't moved. It was like he was being slow on PURPOSE.

Which, of course, he was.

"ARE YOU EVER GOING TO MOVE?!"

"Nope!"

Gray stared at him. "WHY THE HELL NOT?!"

"Because you're being weird lately!"

Shit! Gray had a moment of panic before spluttering "NO I'M NOT! I'M PERFECTLY NORMAL!"

"YES YOU ARE!" Natsu shoved a finger in his _once again_ bare chest. "If you were being NORMAL you'd be trying to kick my ass right now for pissing you off!"

"You WANT me to kick your ass?!"

"I want you to TRY!"

"I CAN KICK YOUR ASS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK!"

"PROVE IT!"

"FINE!"

And without a second thought, Gray had launched himself and they were rolling beneath the tables, kicking, punching and basically trying to leave as many bruises as possible until Natsu, once again had Gray pinned.

"I win!" he announced, still holding Gray to the floor and practically breathing the words into his mouth.

Gray blinked and tried to focus on Natsu's face. He was a little too close for it to actually work. In fact, he was ifar too close in general/i.

Well, hung for a lamb, hung for a sheep. Gray twisted a hand free, grabbed the back of Natsu's head and crashed their mouths together in the most unromantic and unexpected kiss of the century.

It was a good few minutes before he let him go again, long after Natsu had stopped fighting him.

"It's perfectly normal."

And Natsu wasn't arguing.


End file.
